Bridging the Gap

We as kids always seek our parents for everything. As we grow, a fine line develops, which later turns into an age gap. There is an age… a time, when we are high, on cloud 9 with our friends. We have same thinking pace, same perspective of life and somewhere same expectations from life too.

Though our parents are happy in our happiness, happy to see us the way we are turning from good to a better individual, we feel that they do not understand us or probably too busy and indulged in their lives (rather in their routine), to share our feelings, our mindset with same intensity and vigor.

And suddenly, when this time leaps from this early college / work life to married life, we have a person / partner / alter-ego who is solely dedicated to us. Our partners give us best of everything. We feel our better halves are clearer in thoughts, have a better sense of looking at things, are more organized and blah-blah… We kind of have biased world towards our better halves and the gap widens.

Why this gap… I keep on questioning to myself… And somewhere got an answer or explanation…

We forget that to beget us/mould us till the current state; our parents sacrificed and compromised on many things. Starting from daily savings, to working hard to give us best of education and nutrition, to skipping the worldly pleasures offered to them (to save for us and thinking somewhere in the back of their mind…we will enjoy this later when we retire).

And most importantly, we were not the only apple of their eyes (mostly). We do have our siblings too who needed equal attention and care and hence commitments and responsibilities for them multiplied. And focus and individual attention for us would be probably 1:3 or 1:2 whereas for our spouses, ratio is 1:1.

To make the both ends meet gracefully, they poured their sweat of the brow. And yes, this process somewhere turned into their prime routine, their lifestyle. Given now all the things they intentionally gave a miss that time, they won’t enjoy it fully. Because they are used to this life now. No, they don’t want the worldly pleasures (as they say it) now.

All they want us to understand them. To read the wrinkles on their faces. To give them smallest of the joys like sharing a cup of tea / enjoying a nice TV show together / have a nice talk with them once a day / spending a fun day with them and their grandchildren.

Somewhere I read an article, where a grown up son asked his mother… “Why do you speak so slowly, please talk fast… I’m getting bored and I don’t have much time”… Mom replied “Son, I always used to speak at this pace, just that now you want things fast”…  

Probably sometimes taking a pause, looking back at things is worthwhile once in a while… 

Parents know that giving space is very important to kids… but don’t make this space a bridge hard to cross…

All this is what I opine, your thoughts and suggestions are most welcome.

Originally posted by Parentous

Story Telling

As they say, books are the best companion of a person. And believe me, they are. Try a few to check your taste and then here you go, to the endless world of words. J

I always wanted my son to catch up this interest. He can’t read sentences as of now but ya, can make out a story (once explained by us) from pictures and a couple of words. And today, story telling is one of the things he is fond of. Guys n gals, try it out. Its benefits are multi-pronged –

• To learn the art of weaving the words…
• to derive (and actually imbibe) a great moral in the end
• once kids are used to story listening/telling, u can lure them to come and join leaving something unwanted behind…
• books can be passed further to friends/sibling etc…
• best things to exchange too with your buddies…
• to grasp the concept from pictures till the time they catch up with words and sentences..
• it boosts their vocabulary as well as their thinking and listening powers…

This list is simply endless…..Deeper u go, More u know….

Our favorite bedtime story is the famous Hare and tortoise fable and I tell him in the end, “So isse humne kya seekha, ki apna kaam khatam karma chahiye, aur fir sona chahiye. Aur sabko strong samajhna chahiye…”

And to return the favor, my son often recites the famous monkey and crocodile fable….(where monkey offers croc jaamuns daily. One day croc & his wife gets greedy and plan to bring monkey to their place to eat his heart thinking it must be sweet. But monkey on the way tells croc that he forgot his heart on tree and saves his life)….

One day my son said… “ mai bataun, isse hume kya samajh aata hai…”

I said “Go ahead”

His moral.. “ Isse hume samajh aata hai ki hume jaldi jaldi apna kaam swimming karke khatam karma chahiya aur ped pe jaake jaamun khane chahiye..”

Though I explained him the correct moral, still I superliked his attempt and everytime I think of it, I makes me smile…J He tried and at least if not from the depth but from the actions and flow of the story, he derived the meaning …

If I lazily narrate him a story, then my son corrects me saying, “Mamma, aise thode na… Once upon a time se shuru karma hota hai…”… and then I have to re-recite everything…no choice…

You can make the kids learn or unlearn so many things through story telling and preferably the picture books ones. Books are one of the best things you can gift your child, one of the best hobbies you can try inculcating in them and see if will do wonders.

A seed well sown in time reap its own rewards…

Originally posted by Parentous

Travelling Overseas with kids...

Recently been to a holiday outside India. Taking break from the normal routine was much called and desired for. Came back with loads of memories (and pics of course).

Here are few of the findings I carried back home:

1)      Always carry kids raincoat/ at least a good quality cap to cover their heads for unexpected rains/ too sunny day.

2)      Kids adapt to food changes quickly. We might still look out for our Indian or desi food everywhere but they can easily gobble in pastas/ pizzas/ smoothies etc. And believe me all these things do have some nutritional value.

3)      You get canned milk everywhere. Just carrying kids fav chocolate powder is enough. Even cornflakes/chocos are available easily.

       I generally opt for breakfast buffet at hotels. Even if they don’t have much of veg choices, still as per international standards, all of them have breads (all kinds and shapes), muffins, fresh cut fruits and juices, all kinds of flakes and milk/tea/coffee. This is more than enough for a good start of the day.

4)      Don’t think that your 3+ and beyond cannot walk much with you. You just need to keep their spirits high and they will surprise you with their stamina.

A pack of biscuits, chips etc would be icing on the cake. And bigger the group of people is, more the fun and help it would bring to the trip.

5)      Basic medicines of cough, cold, fever, acidity and an antiseptic ointment should always be in place. And most important is a bundle of BAND-AIDS (washproof J)…

6)      Washrooms are available in abundance outside (and hygienic ones). Just carrying an extra pair of clothes as a backup is ok. You need to carry diapers for extra cold places like in flights.

7)      And ya, kids do enjoy flight journeys (be it long or short). Watching the clouds, ascend and descend of plane excites them. And there is so much content in In-flight entertainment program (your personal TV placed at the back of the seat in your front) to keep all of you engaged. Movies, serial, video games and what not. And flight crew generally offer extra set of goodies to your lil one to entertain them.

These are just few of the things coming to my mind. And as always, with these learnings and memories to embrace, looking forward for my next travel rendezvous.

Originally posted by Parentous

Gadget-driven Generation

Technology has taken a big leap from what it used to be when we were kids. Smart phones, interactive TV, laptops, video games are commodities now.

Gone were the days when we used to wait for a week to watch an episode of our favorite serial. Now it is daily dose, two spoons after breakfast, two after lunch and two before dinner. And not just this, imagine even TVs are smart nowadays. One has a bouquet of options to choose from movies, games, quizzes, watch a new story/art-n-craft daily & what not…

It is funny, we used to say don’t worry I am just a call away. Now we say, just a tap away…Thanks to the smart phones. They are basically operating systems on wheels which can easily fit in our pockets.

But then it has brought the over ease of use for kids too. You need not even explain them on how to use it. They themselves find ways to play a game by endless tapping and sliding. They even call easily and without our knowledge too. My 3yrs old as such cannot read the words. But he recognizes the pattern of letters for names of his grannies and dad and calls at his convenience. For other features of phone to use, icons are his friends. If he is stuck, then there is home sweet home….Yeah the new HOME, home button.

All these things come with a big dilemma for us poor souls. It is a definite help in learning and growing (and to engage and engross them in case we are busy elsewhere), but yet it is replacing the outdoor activities.

And at times, you wonder, if these things are turning into an addiction, whenever they meet a new phone (through a guest), they get so much lost into that and do not pay attention.

Out of our love and being tech-savvy, we install kid-oriented phonics or number games on our cell. Or show them their favorite poem on youtube on laptop/cell. And now they know the source of fun. And many times, in middle of some imp work, they cling on us to open the laptop just to show (or rather just start) the poem (they can change it then, as you have to just click), or hand over our phone to them.

We as parents try our level best to focus more on outdoor games and evening outings. And mostly limit the TV/cell usage only when everything is taken care of – homework/rest/food/evening catch up with other kids. But then comes the weekend where they get liberty of use for their favorite TV show and papa’s phone.

Gadgets are bliss for mankind but is it limiting us to reach out to people in person? They have loads of information in single store but is it stopping us from seeking the information from other sources? Cameras were meant to capture and treasure but is it getting more used for Facebook likes? We are more dependent on docs/calc/memos than our memory.

These questions toggle-n-topple in my mind while I’m using my laptop (read Gadget) to post this.

In the end, it is all about balance. It always is.

Your thoughts?  I’m all ears…

Originally posted by Parentous